Someday, Today.

 One day, that "someday" will be "today". :') | Tweeted December 15th, 2012.

I won't lie. I never satisfied of things I have got and always wanted for more.

I just can not stand it. Everytime I see those photographs, pictures... it reminds me of how I wanted so much to be like them. I just can not stand it to feel envious everytime I see people achieve more than I do. Got their names credited in fashion photographs. Got their face printed on the magazine covers. Got their name headlined in a lifestyle magazine. Got their artwork published in the blog.

I want to be like these people I admire... These people, who accidentally, so close to me in the real life. Sering kehidupan kami bersinggungan dengan cara yang unik. Saya mengenalnya dan ia mengenal saya. Namun, kami berbeda. Mereka berhasil achieve many things that I would also like to do! Mengapa saya tidak? Apakah saya kalah dengannya?

I know I can do those things, too. But why couldn't I? Why didn't I get the chance?

Some people told me to be gratituous. Well I am being gratituous. For all the good things happened in my life: menjadi sutradara Antigone; diberi kesempatan siaran di Zona Pelajar dan bertemu so many great individuals; memiliki banyak teman di sekolah and have my voice listened; bisa mendesain secara profesional and being paid... (I am so sorry, but honestly I don't even try to brag). These are my achievements and I am totally thank God for giving me these.

But what is life if you only stucked in a place and never moving forward? Saya tidak akan berbohong. Saya juga ingin mencipta banyak hal. Make some paintings. Write some novels. Shoot some photographs.

Saya berpikir, masalah saya sekarang justru karena saya dream too big. I just read a line in a magazine, "Start simple, start small, but start now." While I don't know whether today is a good day to start. But do I have time? People keep telling me, "Study. Study. Study."... My bestie told me to be focused on the exam because there is no time; my teacher told me that I still have plenty of hours to make some art. Whom should I trust? 

Well, you can almost say, "It all depends on you. Can you do two things at once?" While I do not even know my ability. Could I? I need to be convinced. Because I want to start now. Orang-orang selalu berkata, mulailah selagi muda. Saya masih muda dan saya mau memulai. Saya hanya berharap diberi some courage to start today.

***

Resolution time: I need to convinve myself to be braver and take some risk. Well, maybe I will not found any empowerment from my friends, but I know I will have courage from God. To start, to progress, and to achive.

Let's make "today" becoming that "one day".