For the first time since so long I logged on to this blog and see... Wow, it's been a year since I wrote anything down.
My life has not really been amusing lately, but there is a surprising amount of relieve in being on the low tide of the wheel. Really, I constantly felt unhappy and sad (and to my own concern, also find myself be more cynical and feel bitter towards life). But yet it also calms me down and take things for granted. Like, Well, this is life. It's not happy. But it's life anyway, thank God.
A kind of sad gratitude, perhaps.
I don't want to say a lot of things in this blog this time, because a year of leaving needs a long explanation and I don't think I have enough focus to tell you Readers down. To sum up, I found out another activity that excited and absorbed my time (which is fashion), and had writing skill altered to bigger discussions (which is college papers, sigh).
But why do I write again? Well, I have a life-change lately and (like what everyone sane-person-in-the-brink-of-insanity does when the floor beneath them crumbles) I reviewed my late life. I won't say I was happy with what I found. I think I had changed a lot that I couldn't understand who I am now. Yes, I have constantly transformed myself, but this past years things got pretty out of my hands. So I encouraged myself (indeed it took a lot of courage) to take a journey back to who I was. I want to know who I truly am; what I truly want to be.
I started with small past preferences, and one of them is writing. I always loved writing. It's like a therapy for me. It's something that I (hopefully so) always good at doing more than everything. And I like feeling good for accomplishing things well. That is why I write again. I need something to fix my disappointments and help me forget my sadness. Writing does both.
I might cleaned up this blog a bit (I even consider moving to Tumblr which has a simpler design) but we'll see later on, it's not my focus anyway. This time, it's going to be the writing. So you can expect me sharing my thoughts in this blog again. (Still I don't promise you Readers anything. PS I am not good in keeping commitments. I am best being let free, right?)
See you soon, Lovers.
Xoxo,
Akib.
